:: the same old plot. ::

:: Wednesday, March 26, 2003 ::

My blog is so full of mindless teen angst.....quite amusing actaully! Yes it quite amuses me......except that i was really upset when I wrote them, but that's beside the point....hormonal dribble......the basis for many a teen movie.......I guess it can be quite entertaining.....not really

:: Tamlin 8:09 PM [+] ::
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Ah sring break....so short and so sweet! Rest, relaxation and rejuvenation! Oh did I forget to metion the war, government propaganda, loss of innocent lies, children dieing, prisoners of war, dead Iraqis, dead Amercians and unlimited media bullshit broadcasted 24/7 for our viewing pleasure? How could that have slipped my mind. Thanks George, way to be.

:: Tamlin 8:46 PM [+] ::
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Blogs are fun and life is grand.........old friends, new movies, what a day..............

:: Tamlin 11:57 PM [+] ::
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Well well well... It has been a while now hasn't it? This sure is a first, I'm writing in my blog and I"m not emotionally unstable! I had a really good day today actually... THe best kind of day where you can be completely and utterly selfish while not hurting anybody because you really only have yourself to look out for! I stayed in bed till twelve, stayed in my pajamas and then volunteered at the hospital. They just got the cutest rabbits for the residents there. I got to play with one, the one without a name. maybe they should just name it rabbit because it's just a '..poor slob without a name'...gotta love random Breakfast at Tifany's quotes...anyway I worked and I realized that I really love it there. I'm always apprehensive about going but I always have fun and I always have the neatest stories to tell afterward. some of those resisdents, especially th confused ones are so sad... This one lady is always just asking 'wher am I going?' and shes just sitting there. Then when you tell her somehting she doesn't like she just says over and over again, 'won't you help me? somone help me!' and it just breaks my hear tbecause no one can help her and she can't help herself because that's why she's there. It sounds so pathetic and just..pure like she really needs help but she has everything. What a scary place to be in when you just don't understand anything around you and all you have are the memories of when everything was clear. They all know that at one time the world made sense and cared about them but now they're just so lost..... But they have friends there that look out for them. They really love eachother and none of the residetns really listen to eachother but thats alright because the person talking isn't ebven really listening to themeslves either... It;s a great place and some of them are just so loving . Like Sid today was so cute with the new rabbit....He was holding it for so long and I said something about the rabbit liking him and he was like 'oh all animals love me.." it was really sweet. And then he started to tell me anout how he lived on a farm in ALberta and had lots of pets...it was just really cute....and then the rabbit peed on him...i guess thats a good ending note...gotta love stories about extrement....and I didn't even tell you about the bag of gas that a nurse relieved in the kitchen! Oh my gosh I"ve never smelt anything worse...

:: Tamlin 9:31 PM [+] ::
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You know those mornings when everything about waking up and getting out of bed is wrong? and you just know that if you leave the protection of your bed even for a second that the world is gonna ambush you, sneak up from behind and satb you in the back. I should have known that this morning. i shouldn't have gotten out of bed. God if only the chaos theory were true....then I could have just stayed in bed and the whole world would change. Today would never have existed as it did and maybe if mom never told me that Uncle Reg died, then maybe it wouldn't have to be true. Maybe if I just don't believe it, refuse to accept it, them maybe somehow that can make it not be real, make his death less final. He really is still there, I"d tell myself and the dominoes would get reversed and maybe eveything would just go back to how it was and somehow my staying in bed would have been able to change thigs. ..I had to get up and start a chain of events that inevitably led to this moment, right now, me writing about my great uncle's death....Shit how much can one family take? Every part of this is just so unfair. death is unavoidable, but three in the same family within 6 months of eachother? I always expected to meet Uncle Reg. He was just always there. Uncle Reg in Australia. What a great guy, you'd love him Tamlin, he's hilarious, if you ever go down to Australis stay with my uncle, he's great! But now I"ll never get to meet him. Frankly, he doens't exist anymore. I wonder when the finality of death really kicks in...the moment when you realize that dead really does mean gone, forever. Ucnle Reg...dead? no there has to be some mistake. people just don't die. They get sick, you see them slowly checking out but they don't just leave. You get to make peace with it, you get to tell people the things you always wanted to but just never had the time. That's the process of death....now suddenly he's gone....What about Lisa? She;s only in her twenties. Just last night I was thinking about what would happen if my dad died, if I lost him...I wouldn't be able to survive...honestly my heart and sould would die with him....what do you do without someone that was always there?....I always thought I"d get to meet him....I really did.....

:: Tamlin 8:06 PM [+] ::
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Now I know that I really don't have a life because I was just looking at some miscellaneous blogs to see what other people were writing about and I found two Christian people! what are the odds? If you ever have a chance, go to www.hilary.blogspot.com. She's a very interesting person! Alright I"m starting to freak myself out with my lack of real purpose and my stalker like qualities so I'll end this while I"m ahead..or at least before I dig myself in even deeper....

:: Tamlin 1:14 PM [+] ::
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So I'm sitting at home and I should be doing homework but instead I"m writing in my blog and listening to my brother hammer out unmelodious sounds on the guitar...I wonder which choice is less painful?? homework or guitar mistakes? shudder

:: Tamlin 9:16 PM [+] ::
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