:: the same old plot. ::

:: Thursday, December 23, 2004 ::

oh life oh love oh frank. seriously, i can't get enough sinatra. I think it's because of all the old christmas movies i'm watching. the silky smooth voices melt me. it's all definitely doing strange things to my heart. I tear far too easily. aka at the end of 'All I Want for Christmas' my favorite christmas movie as a child (EVERYONE IS LOVED AND SANTA IS LESLIE NELSON) and the Saved by the Bell wedding movie (ZACK AND KELLY TOGETHER FOREVER). and, you know, there really is just something innately Christmasy about going to see a movie with the family and then driving around for hours to find an open restaurant and ending up at Denny's or a chinese place. so even though that doesn't universally scream Christmas, in the cooper household it really does. AND even though i have to work christmas eve i still get to go to a midnight service and sing carols so ALL IS WELL WITH MY SOUL. oh how gooey life is.

:: Tamlin 4:16 PM [+] ::
...

i need to get more sleep. i've recently found myself completely unable to stay actively involved in conversation with people. i just can't control when my brain decides to turn off and stop listening and by the time i realize it, we're way too far into the conversation to say anything. i feel like a terrible person but no one has yet said anything so hopefully i am not that obvious. either i am a very good actress (HIGHLY unlikely) or people really are just that used to being ignored.

side note. i don't think people say people's names enough. sometimes i'm startled by my own name said sincerely. it happens so rarely. there's something beautiful in that i think.

OH i almost forgot. I have been waxed and hair free now for over a week. oh the glory of the female form devoid of hairy coarseness. although i now have no reason to smile when looking in the mirror. no matter what the day was like, the sight of my arm pits would have garaunteed a chortle. but alas, i have succombed to self mutilation and rid myself of this joy. this was all for the greater good however, as i'm sure massive loss of appetite would have resulted had I unveiled myself in all my natural fur at the banquets.

your welcome.

:: Tamlin 5:09 PM [+] ::
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YES. i am so happy that it is christmas season. serisously, my soul has been so sugar-coated as of late that if i wasn't so blinded by my joy i would want to stab myself in the eye. I've decorated a tree, watched rudolph the red nosed reindeer (the paper/puppet-y version) listened to cheezy christmas music including the Chipmunks White Christmas, drunk chai tea and for the first christmas ever, been given a chocolate advent calender. all the happiness of my existence is wrapped up in this small cardboard calender with a christmas tree on the front, full of strange tasting, arbitrarily shaped milk chocolate. completely out of the blue, a friend delivered to me this magical calender and oh joy, oh rapture unforeseen! never before have i been so filled with yuletide brightness.

:: Tamlin 6:35 PM [+] ::
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it's nice to be reminded that people care about you. last week at the hospital, a family came in to visit one of my favorite residents. He's your typical eeyore, adorbaly self-deprecating but with an added heavy dose of cynicism. he's a riot but he's so lonely. it fucking breaks my heart to think about this one time when i was with him, we were playing with a puppy that came in with someone and then when the person left with the dog, he just sat by the window and watched them walk away, crying. ugh it hurts, and i mean physcial pain. but last week he was visited by a family and they brought in this huge bouquet of flowers for him that were really gorgeous. he spent some time with them and when he came back to me he acted liek a comepletly different person. i've never seen some one so lit by just a ten minute conversation. he came alive, usually hunched over and mumbling, he was sitting upright in his chair, wanting to help, being talkative. so we talked for a while and i marvelled at and praised his beautiful flowers and this families kindness and said, 'isn't it nice to have a reminder that people really care about you George?' and he just looked at me and smiling said, 'they really do eh? ya...that is a nice thing.'

HEART WARMED.

:: Tamlin 8:28 PM [+] ::
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